if you want me, then fight for me, because i'm fighting like hell for you.

'' what a feast ''

someone viewed my profile, finally. woohoo. ((:

siap siap siap, off to grandma house.
doa selamat and then buke puasa.
so many food to eat, shiookkk!
yummylicious.

off to Roi's crib next for Kak Wiyah's birthday celebration.
cut cake and mini celebration and cam whore.

i got nothing better to do and so i went online and went to
www.starhub.com
for what? to play pranks on people.
and so, i messaged Fandi Dee(: using websms.
go and click and sees what he says.
like what the hell, but funny.

and and, i made a new friends.
his name is Syam.
we lived near to each other place but never met before.
hope to bump into him soon.
and he thought i smoke, no okay.
i'm a good girl. (:

'' don't cry, baby boy. ''

no matter what it is, i just want to let you know that i will always be right here if you need me the most. i just care and concern about you which i don't want you to feel emptiness within you.

tears rolls from my eyes.
wondering how have you been. you keep running far far far away from me and never let me know about it. you don't want me to worry about you and you hide yourself from me. you don't want to hurt me anymore and that is why you are trying to run away from me.
why must you do this to me?

best friend; Reena send me this song and ask me to listen to it.

somehow this song is related to me?
some sort of, i guess.

now i wonder what does she meant by adding some of my friends?
something interesting is going to happen.
ouhlala . (:

'' mess up with me tonight ''

just think and think and think again.

so now you are putting all the blame on me? to be fair, you and me are to be blamed. fair enough? it is so complicated that can make my head go spinning round and round. some things can't be explained. the main thing,
i want you to know that i love you.

are your words that you used to say it out on me was just a wishful sayings?

yes yes, this time i never paitao you.
met up with gundu GF; Natt by coincidence at Yio Chu Kang Mrt.
met up with gundu GF; Lulu at Orchard Mrt.
a new friend; Nisa? (:

ate at Long John Silver at Far East Plaza.
met up with Azmeer and the gang.

together, met up with Ferhan, Danial and the gang.
Orchard Mrt to Paya Lebar Mrt.
met up with Din and Azmil.
Geylang?
oh yes, we did went to Geylang si paku Geylang.

met up with Fad, Bak and the gang.
cam whore.
bought deng- deng, apam balik, burger ramli and drinks.
chilled off while eating behind Paya Lebar Mrt.
blah blah blah.

'' the night is still young ''
ahh yelar sampai Mrt semua sudah habis.
lagi- lagi tunggu si gundu GF; Lulu pergi tandas.

the funny thing had happened was that boys are afraid of dogs rather than girls.
Azmeer: '' anjing! ''
what the hell.
all the boys run away and all the girls stayed down there and don't know what's happening.

then then, having a hard time to contact guys with motorbike.
called Fandi Dee(: Khai and blah blah blah.
thank god, i was saved by my brother and his friends.
luckily i have them to be my saviors.

yearh, they can be my saviors but still i have to wait for them like 2am.
the boys proceed to play pool at Grandlink.
send gundu GF; Natt to see her off taking taxi back to her crib.
see the boys playing pool and both me and gundu GF; Lulu was so bored.
waited outside and chit chat.
gundu GF; Lulu was so in pain, sympathize her.

around 2am, Bro Amie, Ayim and one of his friend.
i was so shocked to see him.
nyehahas. [:
i went off by taking Bro Amie motorbike and gundu GF; Natt with my Bro Amie friend.
2 KR motorbikes and 1 RXZ motorbike.
send gundu GF; Lulu to her crib and we went off to Cheers at Lot1.
bought drinks and chocolates and chilled off while waiting for Bro Amie friend to come.
aisey bedah, his friend got the time to go home and change his motorbike.
from KR to Scrambler.
hot lar seh and i'm falling in love with his motorbike.
woohooo. (:
reached back to my crib at about 4am.
bahh~

i was so afraid by the dogs, howling.
aaaoooooooooooo ...

my body still have those fucking bruises.
i did not realized it till yesterday.
it was so bad bad bad.

who said that i forgotten you guys?
no, i still remembers you guys.
yea, so do not think i that i am action already eh.
i promise you one by one that i will come back to all of you soon.

i thought who added me at Msn and it was Zul.
when he always sees me at school, '' cabut eh? ''
tak habis- habis dengan dia punya, '' cabut eh? ''

yes yes finally i got accompany to accompany me go Causeway Point to go bazaar tomorrow.
i'm craving for that keropok leko not keropok legong.

my part-time stead; Jason used to be in Macdonald working life.
out of the sudden, he nudged me.
chit chat and we kind of missing those days that we used to be having all the night life, no show life and those nonsense life we used to have together.
especially with all those clans working at Macdonald.
thought of meeting up soon cause of Fandi Dee(: as he is going off to serve his national service.

'' minah rempit and mat rempit ''

oh boy, you really have changed.

seriously, i swear.

after so long we have been keeping quiet,
finally, we talk again.

i know you know what had happened in the past.
i am 100% percent sure that you are still dwelling about the past.
oh well, what is past is past.

Geylang. East Coast Park. Mount Faber Park. Gap.

3 motor bikes off to Geylang.
saw Azmeer and the gang and Ekin and the gang.
walked around at the bazaar.
bought food and break-fast at Block 2.
walked around at the bazaar to browse around for some things.
Ayim bought his baju kurung.
saw Niny and BF, Saufie and the gang.
a lot of things happened at Geylang and i was suffocating inside the bazaar.
it was so stuffy and the weather was damn hot.
earlier thought of bumping into with cousin; Yani but never got the chance.
they were very far from us.
off to the car park.
saw Ahmad and the gang.
when i was on the motorbike, i saw Syuk.
all eyes were on me, huh?
WHATEVER!

surprisingly, i were to find out that Ahmad and the gang and Amie bro and the gang has the same motorbike design cutting.

4 motorbikes off to Esplanade.
chilled out and waited for Fad's motorbike group members to come.
when all of Fad's motorbike group members came, off we go to East Coast Park.
vroom vroom vroom.
it was so illegal race and chaos.
went to East Coast Park to eat at food court as Ayim and GF and me and Amir Bro was totally hungry.
the rest of the motorbikes went off to race.
when all of us had ate, we went off to search for the rest of the motorbikes.
chilled off for a while.

oh yes, Fandi Dee(: messaged me.
nevertheless, i thought the day would be boring.
thanks to him for messaging me and making me laugh like a hyena at Esplanade together with Amie Bro, Ayim and GF.

nisa: '' ni pu si huan uh? ''
dee: '' wei, ni pu hiu ciang hua yi pu yau ciang. pu tong chung tong. ''

this boy; Adam got once want to kenal-kenal with me but i don't want.
somehow, we met again.
he is a friend of Fad's.

this time not 4 motorbikes but around 15 motorbikes off to Mount Faber Park.
race-able.
luckily, nothing happened.
almost something happened would happen to me and Amie Bro.
thank god.

the next destination, off to Gap.
some went back to home but we didn't.
race-able again.
it was fun being the pillion and they play with their motorbike around with the curves.
nyehahas. [:

the next destination, off to home sweet home.
me and Amie Bro went off first cause we were tired as it was already like 3am plus.
Amie Bro send me home and was fuck upside down by the parents.
mother fuckers!*

oh yes, Syuk messaged me.
yes yes, i saw him and he saw me.
he thought Amie Bro was my BF.
what a joke.

i had planned earlier with Amie Bro to wear white shirt same as me.
that's why they thought we were couples.

oh yes, me and Amie Bro are sister and brother, okay?
but different mother, get it?
hmph!

'' third party! ""

argh! X100000000000
third party, again! ):

why must this keep happening to me again and again?
what the hell.

thanks for the big argument that we had just now over in school.
i wanted us to get back as how we used to be together happily.
instead, it get worst than ever.
for the first time, you are acting this way.
keeping all the problems with you won't solve it and help you.
why can't you share it with me?

oh yes, who the hell is Adeq?
you told me you got nothing on with her anymore.
okay, whatever.
why must Adeq be so feeling- feeling now?
i presume nothing had happened?
fcuk it, don't think i don't know about it.
imagine a 14 years old girl being with a 17 years old boy like you who have yet to think maturely.
just what is on your mind right now?

a big huh to me to you.
you told Yani that we are perfectly fine.
what are you talking about?
why won't you tell her everything that has happened?
face it, boy.
i simply don't understand you at all.
what is going on now?

rest assured, i will fight for my rights.
Adeq knows pretty well that you are attached and what else she wants with you?
becoming the third party?
*claps*
thank you very much if that's the case.
what i know her reputation will make people think of her that she's a boyfriend stealer.
you are not happy, you face it out with me.

'' complicated life? ''

when i say i want to do it, i will do it.
don't stop me from doing what i want.

you should know how i feel.
why couldn't you feel how i feel?
try to understand how i feel.

true enough, i left you behind but that doesn't stop me from running away from you.
i just need time to be alone, now.
please, don't force me.

those words were kept in my heart but i just kept silence.
do you know that it did hurt my feelings over those words.

figure it out.
):

'' i won a Bronze Medal ''

16/09/07

Pesta Sukan Karate-Do Championship was held at Jurong East Sports Complex at 9am.

met up with best friend; Aini, best friend; Syasya, Ekin, Fazz at Choa Chu Kang Mrt station at the platform going towards Jurong and then to Chinese Garden.
met up with Fai, Hafiz, Zambri and Black at Chinese Garden.
proceed to Jurong East Sports Complex.

register our names. watching the Kata performances. chilling out at the Sports Complex. met up with all the Hayashi Karate mates. change into Gee. practices with each other. get ready to fight and prepare everything. watched the fights. lunch. watched the fights again. semi-finals, quarter-final and finals. cam whore. wash-up and change. went to IMM. dinner at Long John Silver. shopping. home.

i was really damn pissed off with Zambri.
he always disturb me and couldn't stop with his nonsense.
we always bicker to each other since he couldn't stop with his nonsense.

Fai: '' sssshh! repect uh. ''
Zambri: '' entah, respect uh. ''
Nisa: '' kau nak suruh aku repect, abeh kau respect aku tak. ''
Zambri: '' alaa, abeh marah? ''
Nisa: '' eh sial, kau takmo kacau aku la puki. ''

something happened when we wanted to buy groceries for best friend; Syasya mum's.
she asked to buy '' kunyit '' and so went go and search around for it.
i was so confident that i said, '' eh, nie kunyit. ''
Hafiz picked and chose for her '' kunyit '' but when we wanted to check how much it cost.
i asked this malay guy working at counter price,
'' erm, ini '' kunyit '' eh?
'' no it isn't. ini halia. ''
'' kunyit is in yellow orange colour. ''
so we go back and go check it out.
took the yellow orange colour kunyit and showed him again and he laughed and he said yes that was the kunyit.
bahh~
what a dumbass am i.

oh yes, one more thing.
what a dumb ass am i, again.
i drop my hand phone at the toilet bowl and i picked it up and i screamed loudly.
what a fool am i and i was so panicked when it drop inside the toilet bowl.
after so stress, i make a stupid scene to release myself and so i make a chaos with Fai, Black and Famizee.
nyehahas. [:

back to my crib, i was so tired and in pain.
my back bone, especially.
what the hell.
i hurt my nose, leg, arm and my back.
aargh!

'' you can run but you can never hide ''

i'm really really confused, what should i do?
of course, i don't wish to lose my friends.
can i just cry and cry and cry out loud?
boohoo. )':

you simply don't understand me that pretty well.
i got no time to irritate you so do the others.
oh well oh well, i just think you don't understand my situation.
maybe, you are right too.
i don't understand your situation too.
i need time to release my anger and stress.
i'm sorry that i vent my anger on you which i didn't meant to.
how is it going to let us be happy like we used to be.
you are lucky that i'm being patience with you.
i don't want to let you go not because you make me to if i cannot stand your attitude.
relationship go through thick to thin and i want us to go through the hard obstacles even though how hard it is.
i did promised you once.
you hurt the others, why?
i got other people to tell about my sorrows and you get so agitated.
you stress and so am i.
can't you feel how i feel?
just put yourself in my shoes?
it's not a retribution, anyway.
why can't i find you?
stupid question as always.
it's you who is my boyfriend now.
i got the right to find you and care and concern about you.
but, you just wouldn't let me know.
why is this happening?
you don't want anything to happen to me?
just what the thing is that anything can happen to me now?
aarggghhhhh!

'' i'm so stressed ''

i want to cry out loud cause i can't take it anymore the pain.
why must be this happen to me times and times again?
making a decision is too hard.
it's just too much for me to handle it alone.
why can't i be happy?
i needn't have to worry about your whereabouts.
i needn't have to worry about whom you have been mixing with your friends.
i detest you cause you have lied to me.
i want to know your real reason for it but i never got the chance to ask you.

and yes, why you always have to hide something from me?
i hate it when you people simply lied to me over something.
when such things had happened, you still want to lie for it.
how could you?
never tell me anything when i ask you something.
yet, you come to me only when you need help.
do you think i got the time to entertain you?
who am i to you?
you want to be my bestie, it's just a wishful hope.
i sense that you got two face that you really are good at acting, after all.
i want to see how long can you reach in this way.

and yes, why must you come to him only when you need help?
not once but many times.
i just don't know what you are up to but one thing for sure you seem to have a motive.
why ask other people to take care of your GF?
now, things are getting so worked out.
true enough, why ask other guy to take care of your GF?
why him and not other people whom you are very closest to?
indeed, both of you were that pretty close the last time.
but, both of your game had been '' game over ''
when you need love, cares, money and etc you come over to him?
i just don't know what you are thinking about and what is your motive actually?
funny is that you use your own hand phone number to message.
bahh~
i don't know if you are reading my blog or not but who cares.
you are not a kid anymore and you should know how to take care of yourself.
i feel jealous and concerns about him and you should know what's the reason.
he have told me everything and yes everything and i mean it.
he has already woken up from his nightmare and start to think maturely unlike you.

and yes, why you people loves to bitching around and gossiping around about other people?
you yourself are not thinking likewise and don't even say us.
we are glad we threesome girls are maturely enough not to fight with your over something.
you went from one group to another and to another.
all those groups that you had went, i bet you have been talking about us.
don't think we don't know about what had happened, after all.
look at the bright side, this is 2007 and this is not 2000 okay?
since when you are going to act this way?
oh yes, don't think i don't know you have been reading up my blog.
and, i shall thank you for that cause you are my top priority of friends that always viewed my blog.
nyehahas. [:
don't think i don't know.
and thank you for being the top priority of friends viewing my blog.
i guess my blog is full of juicy stories eh?
am i right my two potential beauty therapy girls?

'' others are more important than me ''

i didn't attended school today.
i was too tired due to lack of sleepless.
woke up by the message of best friend; Aini at 11am plus.
bathe and prepare for everything and went out from crib at about 1pm plus.
met up with Mummy and she gave me money and even top up my hand phone cause i ask for it.
took Lrt and alighted at Pending and went to bus stop and waited for bus.
nyehahas. [:
was hoping to bump into Fandi Dee(: cause earlier we were messaging with each other.
my bus 960 came and i took the bus and saw Fandi Dee(: at the bus stop.
bahh~

alighted at Woodland Interchange and took bus 901 to best friend; Reena crib.
met up with best friend; Aini there too.
they were doing their project and i helped them a bit.
i almost wanted to sleep but then it was time for me to go to school.
haiyo!
took bus 168 from best friend; Reena crib bus stop.
alighted at Tampines and then took bus 31 to school.
met up with my Spongebob BF; Zaid Zahiq! (: and Yani in school.
chatted with him for a while then off i go for my Karate training.
me, best friend; Aini, Fai, Fazz and Black all came early cause Hafiz said it starts at 5pm but in the end he came late.
bahh~

started Karate training at 6pm plus.
do a bit of training and then off we go break-fast.
all ate Nasi Lemak that was given by the auntie at Cafe 2 which Fai and Black brought for us.
i was totally hungry and by then, off we do our Kata grading and everyone passed.
so next week, change to orange belt. (:
after the Kata grading, talk a bit for this coming Sunday's National tournament.

after that, all went changed and all went to Tampines to eat KFC.
hungry hungry and i was almost schocked by the way of how Black ate his chicken.
oh my god!
nyehahas. [:
after eating, all went back.

me, best friend; Aini and Fazz took bus 969 to Woodland but best friend; Aini alighted at Yishun.
from Woodland, i took bus 963 while Fazz took bus 187.
i alighted at Pending to meet Fandi Dee(:
i almost can sleep at the bus stop while waiting for him.
bluetooth the pictures to hand phone and waited for his bus.
it took so long until he decided to take taxi.
nyehahas. [:
i persuade him to send me by taking taxi too.
after persuading him, finally, took the taxi with him.
he send me first before he proceed to Woodland to his crib.

called my Spongebob BF; Zaid Zahiq! (: but couldn't get through.
angry sia me.
rahh!
i reached back to my crib at about 11pm plus.
message Fandi Dee(: and say thanks to him for the taxi ride.
he punked me and i merajuk with him.
he says i very the manja sangat.
basketcase betul.

some pictures that i just uploaded. i gotten the pictures from best friend; Aini, Fandi Dee(: and Izzat.

Nistar Nisa(:

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fifteen-january
indonesian-javanese

❒ Taken ✔ Single ❒ Waiting For That Special Person

♥ people think i am lying about being hurt because they see me laughing. they don't know that i only laugh to keep myself from crying ♥