if you want me, then fight for me, because i'm fighting like hell for you.

sometimes the past is something you just can’t let go of.

and sometimes the past is something we’ll do anything to forget.

and sometimes we learn something new about the past that changes everything we know about the present.

if a relationship is truly meant for you, your love will find a way to make it happen and god will be there to make sure it will stay.

i will see you later my mr wednesday for your appointment.

Labels: expected the unexpected.

everything just happen within the day when i already sense something is just not right coming my way.

unlucky day which i felt so disappointed in myself as the boy going through this journey with me when he's still poorly sick and just got himself discharge in the morning.

i am lucky enough when everyone gave me a piece of advice when i was feeling down.

perhaps, it's for me to accept the fact.

the boy stand by me all the way when he saw me trembling and panicking over the incident that happened.

first time ever that the boy followed me back home and break fast together with my family but he is not fasting at all since he's on medication.

it's alright for the first time that the boy was feeling all nervous to step in which he usually waits outside till daddy have to call him from outside come inside and after break fast headed off to the carpark and by right i don't have any authority to drive from mummy and she was asking daddy to send my boy home but i played his mind and off we go to geylang together with baobei nonoi and boyfriend.

the boy was complimenting my daddy which sounds so funny but i apologized for the inconvenience that i have caused just to trouble you.

without you i would be clueless.

Labels: phobia.

26/08/10

he went for his operation as early as 8.30am due to sinus and had to undergoing for 4 hours of successfully operation done till afternoon.

i came only around 12pm plus and still have to wait for him with the brother, mum and aunt which they stayed from morning.

it was gore to see how painful it was and how he have suffered which he claimed he did not regret upon doing the operation, acting cool like a gangster.

the family stayed for a while and got home while i stayed with him all the way till 11pm and how persuade me not to leave which supposedly i have to go iftar with my primary schoolmates at arab street and had to cancel it.

i can't leave him in the lurch too cause he have not seen his doctor till 8pm, imagine we have to wait for so long and he have been urging the nurses that he wanted to go down.

i watched him when the doctor do the clean up and take out the wound which we called it as " tampons " and break fast in the hospital too and came along to visit him was my colleagues; farah and nunu, his uncle; bo and his cousin and gf.

i wanted to overnight with him and how best we tried to convince the nurses they didn't allowed as much we tried our best and lied saying i'm his fiancee and i'm a staff of ttsh as well.

27/08/10

he was able to be discharged as early as 9am and i drove to woodland to fetch his cousin and gf around 6:30am and reached ttsh at 7am, lucky no traffic jam and erp.

by the time we bought for him breakfast and reach his ward, he was sleeping so soundly.

poor boy but his looking cute when he snored loud like nobody business and even his next-door-bed said so as well.

he was awaken when the nurse wanted to take his blood pressure and was shocked to see us and had his breakfast and went down to take a stroll before he could be discharged.

he was totally happy about it, let me tell you even though he's suffering.

get well soon laogong <3

Labels: get well soon.

hot hot heat sexy day with the boy.

fetched the boy from his place and he was feeling enthusiastic about wanting to play bowling at yishun safra so i let him drive and bring along his bowling balls and shoes just for the both of us yet he cheated my feelings and drove all the way to beach road.

idiotlove.

sewed his uniform at beach road after which he wanted to show me some place and drove me around arab street then we are off to geylang since my secondary schoolmates have been bugging me to meet them for a short while.

walked around at geylang buying sorts of foods and i have been going to geylang since now and then mostly on every of the weekends with the boy.

the boys went to play computer games at grandlink while me and the boy went off to east coast road for some ice cream chef with the loves.

enjoyed the accompanies by the loves who treat me to ice cream.

instead the boy still prefers that i brought him to ben & jerry ice cream @ demsey hills.

awww.

after we had desserts, i drove them all to east coast park to chill for a while to spend time as it has been a while since we got together and have a beautiful night to spend with which we don't see each other as often.

how much i misses those days when everything was perfect but now it heart breaks to see us falling apart.

Labels: shake it.

the day we fought a moment and the next moment we are back on track.

it's ridiculous though to keep on fighting over a small thing.

how much i miss those days that everything went smooth for the both of us but as they said every relationship has its own up's and down's.

i like the way how he treated me tonight right after i break fast at home, i drove to his place and we spend equality time together before we meet my friends and his family members.

the most sweetest thing is he has done as soon as we reach the place and have settled down after eating, he came up to me and hoping to find my cakarayam that i have been wanting to eat.

it's something that to be appreciated of when someone remembered your desires.

nyehahas(:

awww, that's a sweetest thing of you my boy.

i just hope your words are real and not any of the false hopes that i don't wish to hear about it anymore.
you give me your word, so we shall see how it goes as days goes by.
but tonight, i had fun with you experiencing a new thing with you.

Labels: busy road.

it was an awesome show which i recommend all of you to watch it.

i have been watching with my amie bro since the day that step up 1 and step up 2 was shown on cinema without fail.

since this time round step up 3d is coming out, we have decided to meet up on the day that step up 3d was released.

after work, amie bro fetched me and we headed off to the cathay.

along the way we both keep on ranting to each other non stop as it's been months since we met up.

booked for the tickets and there were still seats available, we booked for 7:00pm show.
window shopping but there wasn't anything that interest the both of us.

i was fasting while he did not even fast so we had to buy some mini foods to bring in to the cinema and i had to break fast inside the cinema.

hilarious and interesting cause this was our first time watching 3d which we both find the show was totally cool and especially their dance moves.

it moved me about the show and my tears started to roll down same goes for amie bro.

nyehahas(:

fun experience and after the movie ends, we proceed to geylang and bump into a lot of both of our friends and then he brings me to lfi which i couldn't be bothered and almost fall asleep till i got piss and tell amie bro to bring me back home.

Labels: step up 3d

the plan work for all of us at a very last minute but the night was awesome.

this is the way we get back things at you, understood?

so now i shall brag about having my own car which i'm relieved that i passed.

a lot of people were shocked to see me driving and have been asking me out but i chose not to.

i know how to handle it on my own.

this night, thanks to baobei syasya, bestie syasya and ekal for making my day and thanks to all of you that this plan works at a last minute which is the most important thing is we enjoyed ourselves this night till we got home at around 4am plus.

after fetching all of them, we went to woodlands waterfront to chill and thinking of where to go next and someone actually mentioned about fishing so we all followed the plan and headed to ekal's house to prepare all the stuffs and then proceed to lim chu kang for fishing.

baobei nonoi, i hope you don't feel left out when with bestie syasya and ekal were around but i'm glad that you can communicate with my friends but don't fret let's have a girls outing soon without the boys around and enjoy the night together.

you all plan and tell me about it then we move on with it.

this night, i chose to ignore you which everyone wants me to ignore about it and i had followed with the flow and put the handphone inside the car so i wouldn't be bothered at all which is all thanks to them for making

sorry that night i got to rush myself to send all of you back home and the funny part at cck, there were a road block and i had fun experiencing it but thank god nothing happened.

Labels: drive out.

oh well today, i fetched baobei nonoi followed by pet and lastly fetched the boy.

we really had a hard time finding for a carpark, useless geylang.

all of the carpark were all reserved.

lucky at the very last minute we find one and had to walk a bit.

we headed to geylang si paku geylang and i told the boy that i was craving for deng deng and he bought it for me.

lucky it wasn't that packed after all, bumped into a few people as usual.

how i wish i was still working at slimming sanctuary and everyday i would drop by geylang for my break fast, i really miss those days.

life has to go on, this year i thought of wearing silver black for baju kebaya with the boy but don't have any mood yet to find for it just yet but the boy have been bugging me which i couldn't be bothered that much.

last minute family wants to wear last year colour for no reasons which i don't know why maybe i have to convince them again.

after rounds and rounds at geylang, we went to changi village to chill and watch bapoks, ewwwww.

no doubt some of them are gorgeous while some are not which totally make me lose interest.

after which we spend time down there, it's time to drive everyone home.

i got home at around 2am and i couldn't wake up the next day.

Labels: double date.

start of the day got me hyper active is when i'm able to collect our chevrolet aveo 1.4 together with my parents.

everything goes smoothly for us and after collecting parents brought me to granny's place at clementi but granny wasn't in except for my uncle and niece danish.

i had to entertain the baby till i got exhausted cause he was too hyper active in playing ball games with me.

text messages and calls keep on ringing and ringing after one by one because of a plan that the ladies had planned.

i'm sorry cause i couldn't be at ohr as i was pressing for time and parents bringing me to granny's place and fetch the lil brothers.

after fetching the lil brothers headed for home and get ready to meet up with my ttsh babies.

it was hilarious over what had happened and all of us each have told a lie not once but more than once not to make it obvious that we have something up on our sleeves to give kak ika and nurul malek a farewell surprise.

at the back end, nunu and saf were at ttsh ohr doing the art & crafts.

while i have to meet kak ika at cityhall and it was really tiring to walk from raffles city to esplanade and back to cityhall mrt and siti and yus were already at cityhall too, initially kak ika told me she was still at home and got me paranoid but she told us a lie too but we gave chance to her.

farah have to accompany nurul malek as she's always worrying about all of us who will not turn up but ended up we all did appeared and together we went to singapore flyers to break fast at popeyes.

the next moment after break fast, nunu tried to persuade nurul malek and kak ika to somewhere to waste time so we all have a time to write something on their cards and then i and farah went to esplanade to collect mrs fields brownies that we have ordered for them but we told them both of us are meeting guys and i even tweet and they believed as usual they know my character.

nyehahas(:

1 hour we were gone and by the time we were back, we surprised them with the brownies together with candles and they got a hell shocked.

awww, the expression that they both give looks like they appreciated for what we have done for them.

i can't bear to be separated from them, it is sad especially kak ika whom we have been supporting us all the way and have always been a mother to us that we know for a year which i just hope we won't lose contact.
take care.

after that night, i fetched the boy with my car after he end his work and i got lost searching for industrial park, boohoo.

then we went to park his motorbike at my place and we went to sembawang to send his friends stuffs and had a late supper at novena then back home but all i know the boy scolded and shouting at me while i was driving.

nyehahas(:

Labels: surprises that we have been awaiting.

i'm speechless, don't treat me this way.
it doesn't have to be this way.

" how do i get off this from my chest? "

emotionally breakdown that caught me in a totally mess.

1) verbal warning
2) relationships
3) friendships

of all the days it has to happen tonight which is a huge blow for me to handle and take care of.
i still can't figured out why.

getting ready after work and we hit to zouk/ phuture and no doubt it was not long queue and after which we placed our stuffs and the locker, we went to a nearby coffee shop and had prata and then off to chill off by the river together with s, farah then came farah and her friends joined us.
all i know when we got to zouk/ phuture the music wasn't that happening at all, seriously.
we went to chill off for a while and persuade them to accompany me to the ladies and that's when shits happened.
i know i wasn't able to carry on myself and i just want to breakdown.
but thanks to whoever helped me out from the ladies, carry me out, hold me back, ease my mind, trying to tell me don't think about boys, sending me back home till late night.

s, i don't recall telling you my address.
how did you even managed to send me back home?
oh monday that is when everybody comes back to work, i'm not looking forward to tell what happened.

oh hubby, you know what i least expected to hear from you that night?
by saying i love you will only then i feel content by you.

Labels: disaster.

oh my i feel crying after reading my hot mama; kak ika's blog after what she have post about us.

something about her is special to all of us.

she have been a good mother to all of us ever since she step in this work with all of us which i can't deny that she's the one who have been there for us and make our bonding closer to each other as days goes by.

i realized that me, kak ika, safia, nunu, kelvin and acap never had a proper pictures which includes all of us together and there's confirmed someone to be left out.

boohoo:(

certainly it's going to be a sad memories when all of us are going to break away soon on the 14th august and please do not remind me.

it's not fair of the management to treat us this way, how could you?

this is really killing me.

kak ika, " i love you and we all love you and i know you love all of us too but don't be sad, promise us that you will be strong and i know you will.

thanks for all the counseling that you have given me when i need you, only you could understand my situation very well and it's a heartache to see you leaving our group now.

it used to be acap and then now you which i felt that life is unfair.

i promise you okay once i can drive around, we go driving together with aqil naufar.

oh i miss the boy.

Labels: heartache.

i wake in the morning tired of sleeping.

get in the shower and make my bed alone.

i put my make up talking to the mirror.

ready for a new day without you.

- DAY 3

i'm utterly upset with you, seriously.

i was shocked to see the black and white letter that was sent to me, tell me what i should do upon seeing it?

" i want to be the only one to get the chance to see how amazing you really are. "

Labels: high of from love.

i promised myself to behave and i'm doing it good.

things were perfectly fine at work and everything goes smoothly for me as days goes by.
i almost doze off while doing the counter and apparently there's the guy coming towards my counter seems familiar, it was chacha and hubby's mum to visit someone in the hospital which they caught me in a daze.

oh well i better hoped that everything goes smoothly tomorrow for the interview.

oh yes, the babies are planning for an outing this friday after work since few of them are leaving for work next week and i can't wait for this friday.

it's going to be happening with all of us for those who are attending and i guess the plans going to work out but initially, i have not told the hubby just yet since he's out for outfield, hopefully he's fine with the plans with what i'm going to tell him this thursday after he comes back.

- DAY 2

they say absence makes the heart grow fonder but i like it better when you are here.

too many times i have been wronged but i'm not giving up.

i hope you are doing good outside at the jungle.

do you know that you are always in my mind that i have been thinking of and never would i have dreamt that we are together now.

oh hubby, come back soon will you?

i'm looking for something wild with you and you owe me a date plus do you remember our anniversary coming soon?

well, i have plans for our anniversary this month to make it a speacial one but i guess it got to wait another few months which absolutely i can't tell you, it's a hush hush secret.

tonight i'm reading all your past text messages that you have sent to me.
it certainly brings back some sweet memories that we both have shared which you loves me within your heart and you mentioned, " my long life wifey. "

do you remember what you said?
those days you were utterly so sweet towards me and can't let me go even less than a minute.
oh i miss the old yusof khai that i used to know so badly, it's just so sad to see you are changing.

oh love if you have gotten to see the text messages that i have sent to you while you are away, just don't be disappointed.
all i wanted to see how's your reaction going to be like when you comes back like how i did back at you while you were away for 9 days at taiwan cause i wanted you to know that no matter what from the bottom of my heart, i love you.
i'm not that cruel.
all these i have come prepared so just to let you know all the messages that i wanted to convey to you through text message is all written through my blog and hopes that makes you relieved hubby which you know i have always awaiting for your return.
good night.

Labels: take it off.

looking at all directions, i only need one direction.

that's the way how i choose my decision like the way how i chose to be with you.

i do not want to look back cause i always have you.

- DAY ONE

the best thing about tonight that we are not fighting.

could it be that we have been this way before?

because tonight will be the night that i will fall for you over again.

don't make me change my mind because i swear a person like you is impossible to find.

i always swore to you i had never fall apart.

so let's breathe in so deep together and pull through this together.

i'm impressed the way how you treated me, it's just the way how you wanted it to be like how when you were away at taiwan leaving me behind for days and we were uncontactable.

4 days you are going to be in the jungle and do you know how much i'm going to miss you although when you asked earlier on, i denied but deep down you should know.

you called me for the last time before you left while i was working which got me to feel the love from you.

" take care and i love you which i'm going to see how much text messages i'm going to receive after i come back. "

awww, so sweet and i love you too hubby but i'm planning not to text you ever since you mentioned those words the night before and it hurts me so badly and i can't be bothered with you so let's just see how my mood going to be like alright hubby and i hope you take good care of yourself and no confinement please.

remember these sentences, " if we miss each other look out for the 3 stars. "

a thousands apologies if you can't get through me facebook or twitter, it's just that i need a space.

calming my mind and taking a break, that's it.

Labels: bad time.

Nistar Nisa(:

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fifteen-january
indonesian-javanese

❒ Taken ✔ Single ❒ Waiting For That Special Person

♥ people think i am lying about being hurt because they see me laughing. they don't know that i only laugh to keep myself from crying ♥