if you want me, then fight for me, because i'm fighting like hell for you.

i'm bored with nobody to entertain me whereas i don't even know what the toot my boo is doing right now which he said he will give me a call once he's done with his meals but up till now not a single text message or call from him and i hate to be waiting for him which he have no initiative at all which really bothers me alot.

oh well accompanied mummy to the doctor and she went for injection yet doctor told her about her blood pressure which i was lucky enough to actually accompanied her if not i wouldn't have know all these.
hopefully everything goes smoothly for her.

oh yes its a love cause i managed to find and eat the hard bread with sugars which i craved for it and mummy helps me, it was heaven.

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i only get jealous cause i love you and i don't want anyone else to have you.

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he cut the vegetables, fishballs, dried chilli and peel the prawns while i do the tauge for the mum to cook for us fried mee kuay teow.

i took a longer time to finish my only task and my boo have already done all the tasks.

excited and wild scene happened as my boo chase me with that bloody parang and i scream out loud for help.

the last task that we have not done and there's not enough time for us which initially my boo asked me to calculate 20 pieces of kuay teow each to divide it for 20 person plate which the mum coming back already and i asked the boo for help quickly before the mum scolded us.

by the time the mum got home, she was wondering what I was doing and my boo behind the scene was laughing his ass off and followed by the mum as my boo cheated with my feelings as he was playing
tricks on me.

see i was curious too why would the mum wants to cook one by one with 20 pieces of kuay teow so I had believed my boo words.
ended up his mum scolded him for playing tricks.
nyehahas(:

Labels: the day that he chose to chase me.

another disappointed day for me as i cleared half of my day so i thought i could spend the day with the boy but it didn't turned out that way.

while am working, cik mascell asked me if i have any plans for today if not she would like to ask for accompanion to liza's son; akif birthday at woodlands as they throwing out bbq party for him so i thought maybe i could accompany her for a while since it's at woodlands so it would have been easier for him no need to fetch me from work but basically somehow this boy told me a last minute plan that he have family chalet at changi and told me he would meet me a bit later which i don't mind at least his meeting me but then he didn't even told me his whereabouts when he left home and wasn't able to get through him at all which totally freak me out.

it took him so long only then i received a text from him saying that he can't meet me and i got flared up and any idea i wanted to burst but i hold on as i was with liza, suzie and the others that turned up when i came.

i lied to my own feelings which i feel so remorseful and eventually thank god my bestie syasya and bf came to my rescue and asked me if i wanted to tag along for fishing at lim chu kang which is so near to a mortuary.

i felt half hearted in the first place as they are in couple while i'm alone but bestie syasya pulled me and i dragged myself to chua chu kang to meet them and then we move off.

this is the fun part, since the boy didn't tell me his whereabouts i couldn't care less so what goes around comes around, i did the same as what he did never tell him my whereabouts even he texted me and tried to called me but at some point i know it was unreachable as the connection over there was not so good.

bestie syasya and bf, i'm not lying and this is the first time i went for fishing, trust me.

they thought i know how to fish cause of the reactions that i did makes them think so and they thought i was acting.

nyehahas(:

ended up the girls did the fishing which bestie syasya caught them.
her bf just sit around and trying his best to catch some fish but then he caught snake and we all laughed at him.
the place kind of deserted but i heard they do catch real big fishes over there but that day wasn't our luck, we shall try to go there again one day and it seems fun once in a while.
we spend out night there till 11pm plus and then off to cck and slacked around for a while.

i didn't managed to catch the last train and i got to hail for a cab at last and when i got back home, a tiff between both of us just happen.

Labels: there's somebody came to my rescue.

you leave me breathless, the way you look at me.
somehow what i have seen now, you are a different person whom i used to know.

i took my turn and i'm glad it turns out this way cause you deserve it.
you see you can't just play with people feelings which they deserved to be smiling.

Labels: broken.

do you remember when we bring it back the happiness we used to share, lets put this as a memories.

its good to hear from you that you are alright and doing find but i know your heart needs time to heal so i apologised for the things that i have caused but most to most, i appreciated for all the memories we shared and promised me that you won't let me down in your future.

i'm always here for you now and then my bestfriend, shake this stress away.

short and simple which these are all i could say for now.

Labels: thousand miles.

take me away to a better place for a holiday and i will be alright.

a sweet escape would definitely give me a peace of mind which i needed it so much, that is all i ask for.

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Labels: breakdown.

who ask you not to dig your ears?
see now you got to wait for an hour for me to end work which i already told you yesterday that i will be working from 1pm to 9pm but you didn't listened and lucky you didn't complained.

thanks for the surprise that you actually make my end of the day a wonderful one as you asked me to call you when i end my work which you thought is at 8pm but when i told you 9pm you got shocked instead and tell me the truth that you at my workplace and at the first place i don't chose to trust you and told you to show your face right before me and only then i got surprised and feeling excited, overjoyed.

serve you right for making me lose interest in texting you nor calling you and despite you only able to hear the operator talk which you not able to get through me the whole day yesterday.
but i like the way you treat me today, uhuhuhuh.

thanks for the cahoots together with my lil bro which i didn't expected and when i got home my lil bro goes, " kakak balik naik motor eh? " and laughed.

the boy make my end of the day after having a pissed off mode at work today and rode me off to have my keropok lekor which i have been craving for and then send me off back home.

awww, thanks my boo and i want more surprises please . . .

working in the environment at sea-side was spectaculous and having a wild conversations non-stop makes the day end fast and tomorrow i'm working odd hours which is 1pm to 9pm with whom affected.

you know i'm lazy to bother myself to check on my hp while i was working plus it was not with me and naturally when a commotions started made by the chinese colleagues so i decided to answer the
phone call from someone and got to find out he's having nights out tonight which i thought it would enlighten me up and canceled my plans however when i called up after i end work in the end the result that i get is way too disappointing which i should have never bother myself all these in the beginning cause in the end you never get repay.

you failed to do your job to understand how i feels and you have no idea how long i have been tolerating and being patience in the things that you had did which i warned you before just do not underestimate me.
for as long as i can still hold, i won't flare it up just yet.
but come to think about it, will it do any benefits for me if he's being told what is it regarding about.

you know you are not trying hard to understand what i exactly want in my life which is i have been trying to go the hard way and didn't see any efforts in you trying to please me hard.

you knew i was unable to get through, you did your best to find me which you think you did in contacting my friends but that wasn't the way to find me.
if it seems that hard to get through me but that doesn't mean you should stop texting me after 1 freaking message stated only, " call me. " -.- which you find it rather that its hopeless to text me long.
see, do you know what exactly i wanted from you?
a few more text messages from you that you actually wanted to conveyed it to me at least i know.

this time round, i think that i should step down from giving in to you that often cause if not you would just step over my head.
bare these in mind.

this week my leave was supposed to spend time with you but i'm not looking forward to it anymore but instead catching up things with my own friends and cousins therefore you could be busy 24 hours with your camp mates all over again and again and again.
don't tell me what to do with the things i do and i'm not going to tell you in the things i do with my life cause its worthless in telling you as you just don't understand me completely yet.

stop calling others names or else i could add fire and spice things up on your side too as well so for now, look at the bright side in regardless that you do with your life.

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earlier on the day before, i texted the boy if i should canceled my half day leave and he said it's up to my decision so i made up and canceled it and eventually when i told him, he got shocked but it wasn't my fault as he initially he had a plan to surprise me and already have booked for something and i wasn't mentally prepared any of this was coming so not to hurt the boy feelings, i didn't ask further questions.

naturally today's work was absolutely slack for both me and s as both of us were assigned at the ward and have plenty of time to spend time with each other.

initially i thought the boy would just back off and wouldn't fetch me but he did in the end as i saw upon his arrival and feeling excited to meet up with him and he's being extra sweet with me which i feel so pampered after so long which we had supper after that before meeting with yat for fishing at woodland waterfront.

after we both had supper, we headed to his granny's place to park his bike and waited for yat to come and fetch us and drive us to woodland waterfront, let me tell you for hours we sat there's isn't any fish caught and i got bored so i pick up his iphone and got hooked with his game.

nyehahas(:

s twitted me where am i heading to and i thought of asking her along to go for fishing since she's nearby but after all she and her boyfriend had reconciled back again which everyone is so happy for her.

we had a conversation whereby he said, " i have waited for you for long just to get contact with you and it took me for years to be able to see you again and get your contact number. "

in my heart, " can i trust his words? this is un-believable. laugh out loud. "

Labels: wrong timing.

you know when someone else still wanting you back in your life despite you have a boyfriend and the family have been bugging about it to return back to the past, they didn't even realized how sickening this feeling can be.

oh god, i think i do need to go for counselling with a professional councellor.

Labels: come on, i need a life too.

i don't know if my eyes playing prank on me or is it just my mind thats playing trick?

soccer friendly match between family members and weekender team at yusof ishak secondary school at 3.30pm.

we scored 4 - 2 and the boy scored 2 goals first followed by farhan and hisham.

we thought the opponent team is stronger than us but eventually, not.

depend on looking at their body size they thought they going to lose but they did not win.

the boy wore number 17, sexy.

such a pity that he injured himself at his leg.

tsktsk.

one of the coach used to teach for my secondary school and he recognised so had a lil bit of chit chat.

now over at his granny place before his book in later at 11pm.

Labels: goals.

the boy went to vicom straightaway after sending me back home and we had planned to go out afterwards once he has done with his things while me getting ready but i'm too lazy despite the night before only had a few hours to sleep.

i got a little worried when the boy kept himself silence for more than half an hour cause he usually would have called me by then so i dialed his number and got to find out his phone spoilt that's why he can't tell me his whereabouts.

the boy called me again once he has settled with his things and poor thing my boo got caught in the rain and he lost his way too as well and ask me to accompany him on the phone while he ride and i got to tell him the direction to get from bukit batok vicom to bbdc as he wanted to find for shelter.

poor thing the boy got himself all wet.

once the rains stops, he make a move and meet me under my block and off we go to town to have our lunch which was supposedly we had planned to sentosa but got to cancel as it was raining.

we lunched at resto surabaya and had nasi ayam penyek and ikan pempek.

after had lunch, walked around in town to browse for some stuffs which i'm going to get it but it irritates me when asking the boy to accompany for my stuffs he will just ignore and can't give me an easy options.

if i knew this was the case, i wouldn't have asked him in the first place which will just make me furious and when comes to his part, he will ask for my option and really insisting of buying the stuffs.

i know i'm fickled-minded but you just got to be patience in the things in do.

headed to vivo city just to look for his adidas boots for tomorrow's soccer friendly match.

but i told him not to get might as well he bought for me a adidas shoes which is the new arrival.

nyehahas(:

in the end, he didn't bought it and i browse around for more shoes and wanted to get this vans ladies shoes but the boy doesn't know to choose for me and decide which one is the most preferable ones.

no he didn't instead he give me a reply which make me a lil pissed off and walked off and cool down myself when we took a short break outside.

i was craving for ben & jerry ice cream and not throw my tantrum towards him, i put aside my ego and had a back up plan and off we went to dempsey hills and had my craving ice cream which i have been holding on till someone bring me there.

the live band only starts at 9pm but we came in early so not a chance to hear some live band songs.

chill and spend the time together at ben & jerry to kill the time before both baby nonoi and pet can be reachable.

grrhh!

at last when we got in contact with pet, we decided to play pool before meeting them at cck and the boys said they will bring us to someplace and eventually it's cck park.

nyehahas(:

chill by the cottage until midnight and pet have been wanting to bring the boy drz but baby nonoi doesn't wants to so we decided to change rider so i had a crazy ride with pet while baby nonoi with my boo.

after all it was a wild ride and i have a lovely day with the boy.

Labels: a long sexy night.

woohoo!

like finally i own a camera again since i lost the previous one.

my boy bought it for me for the anniversary gift and i wanted so much for red or pink but the pink doesn't seems to be contrast enough and in replacement of the colour i took something like pink purple colour, good enough i guess.

nyehahas(:

so now i can camwhore once again, thank you my boy for the lovely gift.

Labels: i love it.

it's calling for the both of us again, happy 2nd months anniversary! (:

although we got together for few months, i believe if we are looking forward to another step we could be together till the future.

we got together not for long but we knew each other back then last 3 years and i still remember that i ignored you whereas you tried to chat with me few years back but i couldn't care less about you.

you know i started to realize this when you talk about it and i tried to reflect back but only remembered it once i do a verification at my msn then there was your email add.

oh well, i hope you were surprised the mini gift i gave you in advance yesterday when i send it to you at your camp.

appreciate it.

Labels: 2nd months.

you are just changing the script and i'm not a fool.
if it doesn't even concerns me, why bother to tell them about the role got me bothered?
when they had played the role wasn't for me but to someone else?
see you didn't even try to play it well either, tsktsk.
way too disappointing, better luck the next roleplay.
sometimes you got to play it well.

maybe you don't get it, just don't cross the line.
you won't know what's coming for you next even before you got a chance to land.

this is just the beginning but naturally how would you feel if it was you to feel the shame?

what possibilities that i can do to myself while you entertaining and you seems so excited about it?

it has happened twice, i couldn't do anything but just to shut my mouth.

it has always been me becoming the victim in this relationship and i never gave myself up and never once i spoken to anybody to speak up.

being shot infront of everybody makes me feels so ashamed and i thought of running away.

i'm losing grip to myself not knowing why is it just got to happen right infront of my face?

the worst enemy has yet to return but do you think she will?

that is when i know where i stand and i could just blew off everything straight to your face.

if you could do it, how about my side?

fuck it and now i'm telling it through my blog cause there's no other place that i could share my thoughts.

i had enough of holding on despite being told.

all this time, they have always been loving him more than what you expected and still prefers him more than what you thought and what wrongs did i do?

don't tell me in my whole entire of 5 years plus of knowing a person, how could i just break this friendship just because of you whereas yours is just a year.

listen for good, i know you could be pissed by looking at this but i don't care anymore.

i want you to take a good look at this and do a soul searching if you know what's best for you.

it takes two hands to clap.

Labels: nice one.

oh well, basically today i work alone and we got to go for the injection for the 3rd time and all the 3 injections is a piece of cake which is not painful at all.

got me so surprised as the ex patient whom is a photographer which i post before asking me to become his model and stuffs but i turned him down cause let me tell you its scary the way how i handle him alone just now but lucky he didn't step in to the counters.

we had a small conversation but as the conversation drags, it sounds so weird.

he asked me, " can i take a snap shot of your picture when you are not working? "

woah, he still insists that he wants to take a picture of me and no one to cover me and i got myself grabbing my colleagues to cover my ass but they themself doesn't know what i wanted and still thinks i'm a friend of his.

wth, it terrifies me a lot and he said he will see me again soon and so shocked that he could find my multiply.

tsktsk.

now, i'm on my way to causeway point to chill at mccafe civic with my secondary schoolmates to just spend the night before our dear friend zali serve his national service and the people that turns up only, me, yat, adib and zali.

gosh, i'm late!

Labels: recognised.

i had an argument with my boy cause i don't feel good with it and it's time for me to trash out everything which i have been holding on to.
i didn't meant to trash everything out but then i only figure out something which is beyond my control which is wasn't meant to happen but then again my mind thinks wild about it and so i confronted him and all he can give me is an invalid reasons which i don't buy it.
i know i still ought to know the valid reasons and he asked me not to be curious about his life.
like uergh, come on what is this relationship for?

i know he love me and i do love him and i tried my best to be on my good attitude just to prove him that i want to change and how about himself?

we both knows that we need each other but all i ask for is not to hurt me.

the next moment, i received a text message from my baby nonoi and she needs help from me and yusof but then i can't help her out so i got the boy instead while we were still not on a good terms to just text baby nonoi and see how can he offers a help and got to know that baby nonoi boyfriend; pet was missing for 12 hours and everyone's getting worried sick and all of us cannot get through him.
kind enough, my boy and his brother drove and fetched baby nonoi at pet block and off go to her place to fetch her passport and so now off they went to jb to find pet.
hopefully he's safe and sound.

i'm feeling worried sick for all of them now.

today he surprised me with his new toy fetching me.

it was thrill but it was so scary and i got to tell him off to slow down cause he made me feel so uptight.

he fetched me from work and off we go to jalan kayu to have our late dinner together with yat and his gf which after we had dinner, have to send yat's gf back home first then we went to marsiling to meet his other friends, mimi and dave and off we go to woodland waterfront and bump into his cousin and gf.

everywhere we head to, i bet you here and there are all his friends and he thinks he's a star.

slack and chill for a while before he send me off.

today he focus more on his new toy and he left me behind as he mentioned that his new toy will be his first girlfriend but i told him i'm the only person he should think of his first top priority which he is lucky to have me, i think but i'm thinking positive here.

my butt is killing me seriously, " my boy i guess you need to get for me a comfy cushion just for the pillion sit which only my butt feels comfortable in. "

now, just hang up the phone with him and i'm just feeling so uptight right now right after we had our last conversation.

uergh!

Labels: baby if i got you.

Nistar Nisa(:

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fifteen-january
indonesian-javanese

❒ Taken ✔ Single ❒ Waiting For That Special Person

♥ people think i am lying about being hurt because they see me laughing. they don't know that i only laugh to keep myself from crying ♥